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West Edmonton is home to the world’s largest mall. In 2004, a caravan of traders from a far eastern land brought whispers of a great empire with a mall larger than ours. These traders were brought before the mall’s tribunal* and found guilty of spreading lies and deceit.

These traitor traders were imprisoned in the dungeons beneath West Edmonton Mall and their bodies now feed the infernal machinations birthed of the copulation between the abandoned peacocks and forgotten ball machines found there.

Edmonton will forever be home to the world’s largest mall.

Excerpt from Edmonton, A Brief History of a Lusty, Young Giant

*At any given moment, West Edmonton Mall contains a population larger than Red Deer (a settlement to the south that has been overrun by an aggressive red moss from which the settlement gets its name) and so maintains its own judicial system.

West Edmonton Mall

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West Edmonton Mall

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